If your team (aka. the 49ers or the Ravens) happens to be in the Super Bowl, you should:
1) Buy new (and extra crazy) apparel for the big day
2) Make sure the rest of the household is covered as well!
3) Be creative with your theming desires for your party… because normal ‘ol game day snacks are just not enough.
4) Declare early and often to friends that your excitement and despair will not be contained at any time, inclusive of the days leading up to and following the festivities. That way, when you scream at the top of your lungs or throw something across the room, no one can say that they, “didn’t know you were such a fan?!?”
5) Study the other team’s roster intensely so that you can refer to every individual properly throughout the game … like you know them and just had dinner with them last week… and CHEER your heart/voice out from start to finish.
If your team isn’t playing in this year’s game, here’s some things you can do during the game (i.e. Mr. M’s JETS… this advice is from him):
1. Watch the fans – it’s never quite as apparent when you have a stake in the game of how much a human being can resemble our generic cousins the monkeys. Arms waving overhead and then there’s the constant "Ooooo. Ooooo" and growls. And don’t forget the chest thumping and bumping.
2. The swear drinking game – the solo version involves you picking a coach and drinking every time you can pick out a "F@$&!!" or other choice expletives being voiced on the sidelines. The multiplayer version involves drawing straws and picking words for another player. This lets you assign your expectation for the most common swear to the funniest drunk in the room. Unfortunately, the person who gets "F&$@!!" often loses… Badly.
3. Watch commercials. Of course.
4. Food movement. Move the dips or chips around the room. Sneak in a few surprises. Move the extra spicy Takis to where the Doritos used to be. It makes for an interesting trial of human behavior especially when most people like to really settle into the couch and are inclined to grab what’s close.
5. (Alright the first few definitely have some mischief to them. So time for a little loving.) Pick the person that you know the least in the room. After a touchdown. Doesn’t matter what team. Just hug ’em.
And when it’s all over… start lining up your draft picks for Fantasy Football season ‘13.